Please Don’t Spare Us The Details

“I’ll spare you the details.”

“Long story short.”

“Story for another day.”

And here we are… women self-stifling, not sharing our stories.

And we wonder why we start feeling invisible?

Please don’t spare us the details. 

We want to hear your stories. We want to know you. The real you.

Not the you who trains herself to be the best listener… shielding herself while earning a pass from the effort it takes to let others in.

Life IS stories.

So maybe today’s just not the day – or maybe these aren’t the people.

Fair enough. 

For some reason this wanted to be written today…

I’m considering this my note to self as I crave getting together with friends again… outside under pretty umbrellas on breezy patios again… after this still-surreal season of creepy covid carefulness.

Let’s not spare each other the details, k?

Real conversation is sexy.

Just like you.

KEEP BECOMING TOTALLY YOU,

And I will, too.

Ann Tatarelli Ulrich

WingWoman for Women – Confidence MakeoversInspirational Speaker – Advancing Confident Women

Photo: My favorite red umbrella on our deck at Treehouse… where for the first time ever, I arrived in April… and haven’t gone back home all Summer.

© 1993-2020 Ann T. Ulrich ANNULRICH.COM

You’re Not Over This, Are You

8 years ago. One day after Labor Day. 2012.

I’ll never forget the gut-wrenching feeling after that surprise phone call. I was fired from my dream job. Or more accurately: one of my many dream jobs.

I stayed all dressed up (as if looking the role would bring it back?) and called my friend, Monica. I needed to see a dear friend. On my deck. With wine. Girl talk. The real kind. Pronto.

When David returned from biz travels a few days later, he took one look at me,

“You’re not over this, are you.”

Um, no. It happened like yesterday, how could I be. Not even close.

He suggested I get a good night’s sleep and then scheduled a kitchen table ‘meeting’ with me for the next morning. (Sometimes you just need to let someone you trust guide you thru and beyond your stuckness.)

That ‘meeting’ shifted my whole perspective and transformed my soul.

I was going to be all right.

Yet there I was: Fired. From a major dream job after having been invited in, following an international search. I would be Co-CEO of a soon-to-be-global startup.

(Don’t ever be Co-Anything. Own your role… and structure the organization so that everyone else can own theirs, too.)

I left my BOLD business and my Fit Modeling Agency to go do this. It was an opportunity custom-created, made-in-heaven, a custom fit, for me. So yes, it was a very big deal.

And yet, there I was. Fired.

Back to David. “Head to Treehouse. Nature will do you good. Take a few months and go write. You always wanted to write. Go. Write.”

So many times in my life I was sure I no longer needed a cabin. Every time, ours has proven me wrong. I packed a few things, said my Goodbye Awesome Husband goodbyes, and headed to Treehouse. The little lake cabin we built together almost 30 years ago.

When I arrived, I was overcome with emotion – gratitude, exhaustion, amazingly no hate.

The decision someone else made for me was no longer holding me prisoner in my own mind.

I headed out the door, straight onto one of my favorite dirt trails… I walked that dry, dusty road and cried pools of tears until all that was left on my face was the same dry dust I was walking thru.

And then I looked up. I looked deep into the woods. And saw THIS.

Sunshine revealed a most exquisite scene… mighty trees protecting bouquets of delicate peach-colored moss.

I had walked past this same spot every Fall for years… and never noticed.

I exhaled one last massive exhale and finally believed I was ready to let it all go. And in that moment, reinforced for myself that no matter how hard anyone wanted to help me thru it…

Rebounding from any setback was, is, and always will be… up to me.

Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you’re here.

KEEP BECOMING TOTALLY YOU

And I will, too.

ANN TATARELLI ULRICH

WingWoman For Women – Champion. Friend. Coach. Confidante.

© 1993-2020 Ann T. Ulrich ANNULRICH.COM

OWN IT … WITH CONFIDENCE.

CONFIDENCE.

Is Believing In Yourself…

Even In That Moment – Especially In That Moment – When It’s Easier Not To.

DO 1 BOLD THING™ Today:

In That Key Conversation, Tough Situation, or Exciting Presentation…

OWN IT.

With Calm Classy Courageous Contagious CONFIDENCE.

Happy International Women’s Day❗️❤️🌹

– Ann Ulrich, Owning It at Women Who #Do1BOLDThing!

Discreet Confidante As Trusted Advisor For Female Executives | Inspirational Motivational Speaker – Leadership & Life | Join The #Do1BOLDThing Movement!

Do1BOLDThing.com

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BOLD Just Got Bolder.

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BOLD Just Got Bolder.

JOIN THE #DO1BOLDTHING MOVEMENT…

Action Inspiring. Positively Impacting Our World.

Our Mission:

Positive People Taking Bold Action – Big Bold & Baby Bold Steps – Creating A Bigger BOLDer Business, Career, Community, Life – Sharing Their Stories, Inspiring Each Other To #DO1BOLDTHING – Positively Impacting Our World! 

Courageous Is Contagious!

All Are Welcome.

JOIN US!

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2017: BOLD INNOVATION AT BOLD HQ:

The #Do1BOLDTHING Movement is new, starting strong and growing! Laying the foundation, shaping possibilities based on the BOLD inspiration, innovation, principles, content and body of work of Founder Ann Ulrich and her passion, persistence and perseverance in creating positively BOLD iterations over 20+ years to champion, encourage, empower, and inspire the BEST in people leading at all levels… business, career, community, life… since 1993!

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JUMP IN, JOIN US, BUILD THE MOVEMENT…

No purchase necessary!

Think about the courageous action you want to take… the positive impact you want to make… in your business, your career, your community, your life, our world.

You’re ready!

  1. GO DO 1 BOLD THING!
  2. POST TO SHARE YOUR STORY!
  3. HASHTAG #Do1BOLDThing on  Instagram
  4. Invite Your Friends To Post & Share Theirs!

OUR BEST BOLD FUTURE IS HERE.

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Go Ahead.

DO ONE BOLD THING!

Courageous Is Contagious!

Together, We’re Positively Impacting Our World.

Even when it’s easier not to.

 

© 2018  Ann T. Ulrich  ANNULRICH.COM   #DO1BOLDTHING

Playing It Safe, Risking Success!

photo-24When is the last time…

you were so passionately committed to an idea – a new possibility – a person’s potential – a new way – a fresh perspective…

that you were willing to climb to the top of the hill…

stand alone, silhouetted against the sky… 

knowing you’re in a position to be shot down?!

Is this the ultimate risk?

Or is the ultimate risk not risking anything!

By Choosing To Play It Safe, You’re Choosing To Risk New Success.

It will always be easier to play it safe

… caring just enough to toss your two cents in as you walk away to follow the crowd of leaders who follow crowds.

It will always be easier to play it safe

… doing just enough to get by, fit in, comfortably unnoticed.

It will always be easier to play it safe… 

… flying under the radar with no headwinds challenging ever-present status quo or risking ever-possible new success.

It will always be easier to play it safe 

… choosing the same old way vs churning new waves of inspired innovation.

WHAT IF in stepping up with a fresh perspective, you elevated one thing, improved one situation, advanced one outcome, positively impacted one person!

WHAT IF in setting out to change your corner of the world, you realized the real gift lies in expanding your own view of the vast potential of you!

WHAT IF in taking those big steps sprinkled with baby steps forward, you tripped yourself up, got back up, and discovered hey, that was ok!

WHAT IF in risking those missteps along the way, you realized fun happens and success thrives at the intersection where people, projects and new possibilities come alive!

WHAT IF in trusting yourself to take a new risk – speaking up, contributing your own point of view to move an idea, project, strategy or initiative forward – you encouraged, inspired, championed and empowered that same courage and confidence in others!

The Moment You Choose To Play It Safe Is The Moment You Risk New Success.

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DO ONE BOLD THING™:  

SELECT YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS!

OWN IT… WITH CONFIDENCE.

Go ahead.

Climb to the top of that hill.

YES, the one you’re most afraid of.

It could be just the place to start!

#Do1BOLDThing: WHAT ONE BOLD ACTION WILL YOU TAKE TOWARD SUCCESS… TODAY!

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©1993-2017  Ann Ulrich. Ready To Get Your BOLD On & Get Your BOLD Back?

PHOTO:  My favorite reminder of a promise to myself while on a speaking tour in Taiwan back in 1990, the year of the horse. I was leading in my Rookie-To-Executive role in healthcare at that time, and decided one day I would create a business to inspire self-leadership, ownership, confidence and success. Three years later I took a risk, and began.

Owning Your Success Amidst The Ultimate Success Stifling, Confidence Crushing, Fear Fueling, Influence Immobilizing Impact Of Impostor Syndrome

photo-46Years ago, when I first learned of Impostor Syndrome, I knew I too had (gulp!) experienced the lockjaw impact of its unrelenting grip.

Sound familiar?

Yes, Impostor Syndrome is real.

And yes, you are imminently capable of the Success you imagine for yourself …and yes, you deserve to own the SUCCESS YOU HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED!

Herein lies your challenge and your opportunity:

Owning It. With Confidence.

Owning Your Success… With Confidence! 

I am writing this post to introduce you to what has become one of my favorites among many great business-and-life-influencing books I’ve read: *THE SECRET THOUGHTS OF SUCCESSFUL WOMEN: Why Capable People Suffer From The Impostor Syndrome And How To Thrive In Spite Of It.* by Valerie Young, Ed.D.

First things first: Impostor Syndrome is NOT a Women-only derailer. 

It’s an equal opportunity success crusher for Men and Women – a potentially devastating confidence destroyer – knowing no bounds related to stage of work or life. 

In fact, I’m realizing now the concepts and realities of Impostor Syndrome may in fact be a subliminal driver behind everything I’ve created in my own business since 1993, including THE BOLD! FACTOR® CONFIDENCE and in work I’ll continue to create in this now-and-next stage of my business – inspiring, encouraging, championing and guiding inspired people like you to Own Your Success… With Confidence! The heart and soul of The BOLD! Factor all along.

BOLD Truth: You can create phenomenal success when you own your success.

These qualifiers (expressions you may be unknowingly crediting your hard-earned success to!) drive my passion for helping people claim their confidence and own their success… 

Valerie Young points out in her book the fascinating way Impostor Syndrome reveals: “in denying the existence of evidence of success in your own life… the problem is your compulsion to explain your success away with qualifiers:

photo-34*It was only because they like me… I was in the right place at the right time… It was luck… I don’t deserve this… Someone made a terrible mistake… I had a lot of connections… If I can do this, anyone can… It is only a matter of time before I am found out… I am a fraud… A fake… Phew, I fooled them again!*”

In her book, Young (who refers to herself as a recovering impostor and invites you to Join The Club!) notes the co-discoverers of Impostor Syndrome, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, identified four coping and protecting mechanisms: diligence and hard work, holding back, charm, and procrastination. In her work, Valerie has observed three more: maintaining a low or ever-changing profile, never finishing, and self-sabotage.

OUCH.

Any of those ring true for you? A few sure do for me. My work is and will continue to be better for this discovery. I hope the same for you, too.

Last night I picked up the phone and called author, now friend, Valerie Young.

It was a wonderful call, as she referred to it: “meeting a kindred spirit!” Valerie had some good advice for me on how to tackle writing my book, and what worked for her. We agreed it’s the hardest work either of us have done. We talked about where we’re at and our visions of what’s next.

A few more expressions – this time from accomplished people tossing their success to the wind – with powerful feelings of impostor-induced self-doubt. Sound familiar?

Who would think Meryl Streep would ever get cold feet at the beginning of every project, telling a reporter: “Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”

Or Mike Myers expecting the no-talent police: “At any time I still expect that the no-talent police will come and arrest me.”

Yes, even our beloved Maya Angelou: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh-Oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'”

If you know someone who might benefit from knowing about Valerie Young’s book, I hope you will share this post with them. It’s the reason I paused my own book writing this morning, to spread the word – with, for, and through you – on how you can create massive Success & Happiness when you learn to release the grip of Impostor Syndrome… by owning your success with confidence.

Your Success is NOT about Luck. YOU earned it!

Thanks for stopping by and for sharing any Aha’s with us in the comments below… or not… as you wish. This is one uber-personal subject, that’s for sure. Till we meet again:

IMG_1621Do One BOLD Thing.

Own Your Success… With Confidence.

IT’S UP TO YOU!

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© 1993-2017 Ann Ulrich   AnnUlrich.com

Photos:  MASK: David and I found this glass mask during the fun week of our daughter Natalie’s and Dan’s wedding in Playa Del Carmen. And once we pick up a fabulous leather mask like one we found in Italy, we’ll have started a new collection. Masks – as art – can be fascinating!  RAZZLE DAZZLE FORTUNE COOKIE: A favorite blingy gift I’m inspired by everyday, sharing it with you here as a reminder that your Success is not about Luck. Own Your Success With Confidence.™ YOU earned it!