Please Don’t Spare Us The Details

“I’ll spare you the details.”

“Long story short.”

“Story for another day.”

And here we are… women self-stifling, not sharing our stories.

And we wonder why we start feeling invisible?

Please don’t spare us the details. 

We want to hear your stories. We want to know you. The real you.

Not the you who trains herself to be the best listener… shielding herself while earning a pass from the effort it takes to let others in.

Life IS stories.

So maybe today’s just not the day – or maybe these aren’t the people.

Fair enough. 

For some reason this wanted to be written today…

I’m considering this my note to self as I crave getting together with friends again… outside under pretty umbrellas on breezy patios again… after this still-surreal season of creepy covid carefulness.

Let’s not spare each other the details, k?

Real conversation is sexy.

Just like you.

KEEP BECOMING TOTALLY YOU,

And I will, too.

Ann Tatarelli Ulrich

WingWoman for Women – Confidence MakeoversInspirational Speaker – Advancing Confident Women

Photo: My favorite red umbrella on our deck at Treehouse… where for the first time ever, I arrived in April… and haven’t gone back home all Summer.

© 1993-2020 Ann T. Ulrich ANNULRICH.COM

You’re Not Over This, Are You

8 years ago. One day after Labor Day. 2012.

I’ll never forget the gut-wrenching feeling after that surprise phone call. I was fired from my dream job. Or more accurately: one of my many dream jobs.

I stayed all dressed up (as if looking the role would bring it back?) and called my friend, Monica. I needed to see a dear friend. On my deck. With wine. Girl talk. The real kind. Pronto.

When David returned from biz travels a few days later, he took one look at me,

“You’re not over this, are you.”

Um, no. It happened like yesterday, how could I be. Not even close.

He suggested I get a good night’s sleep and then scheduled a kitchen table ‘meeting’ with me for the next morning. (Sometimes you just need to let someone you trust guide you thru and beyond your stuckness.)

That ‘meeting’ shifted my whole perspective and transformed my soul.

I was going to be all right.

Yet there I was: Fired. From a major dream job after having been invited in, following an international search. I would be Co-CEO of a soon-to-be-global startup.

(Don’t ever be Co-Anything. Own your role… and structure the organization so that everyone else can own theirs, too.)

I left my BOLD business and my Fit Modeling Agency to go do this. It was an opportunity custom-created, made-in-heaven, a custom fit, for me. So yes, it was a very big deal.

And yet, there I was. Fired.

Back to David. “Head to Treehouse. Nature will do you good. Take a few months and go write. You always wanted to write. Go. Write.”

So many times in my life I was sure I no longer needed a cabin. Every time, ours has proven me wrong. I packed a few things, said my Goodbye Awesome Husband goodbyes, and headed to Treehouse. The little lake cabin we built together almost 30 years ago.

When I arrived, I was overcome with emotion – gratitude, exhaustion, amazingly no hate.

The decision someone else made for me was no longer holding me prisoner in my own mind.

I headed out the door, straight onto one of my favorite dirt trails… I walked that dry, dusty road and cried pools of tears until all that was left on my face was the same dry dust I was walking thru.

And then I looked up. I looked deep into the woods. And saw THIS.

Sunshine revealed a most exquisite scene… mighty trees protecting bouquets of delicate peach-colored moss.

I had walked past this same spot every Fall for years… and never noticed.

I exhaled one last massive exhale and finally believed I was ready to let it all go. And in that moment, reinforced for myself that no matter how hard anyone wanted to help me thru it…

Rebounding from any setback was, is, and always will be… up to me.

Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you’re here.

KEEP BECOMING TOTALLY YOU

And I will, too.

ANN TATARELLI ULRICH

WingWoman For Women – Champion. Friend. Coach. Confidante.

© 1993-2020 Ann T. Ulrich ANNULRICH.COM

OWN IT … WITH CONFIDENCE.

CONFIDENCE.

Is Believing In Yourself…

Even In That Moment – Especially In That Moment – When It’s Easier Not To.

DO 1 BOLD THING™ Today:

In That Key Conversation, Tough Situation, or Exciting Presentation…

OWN IT.

With Calm Classy Courageous Contagious CONFIDENCE.

Happy International Women’s Day❗️❤️🌹

– Ann Ulrich, Owning It at Women Who #Do1BOLDThing!

Discreet Confidante As Trusted Advisor For Female Executives | Inspirational Motivational Speaker – Leadership & Life | Join The #Do1BOLDThing Movement!

Do1BOLDThing.com

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Favorite Gifts For Building Kids’ Confidence For A Lifetime!

photo-75In BEST BOLD U™ I inspire self-leadership, ownership & confidence in motivated Men & Women who create their own success. Not in kids. And yet think about where our confidence begins… yes, it can begin right there… in quiet moments of kids at play.

Whether you’re in that favorite-of-the-moment buyer category of retail marketers everywhere: professional aunts or uncles buying for nieces and nephews… or a wise grandparent uninspired by today’s toys… or a holiday-crazed Mom or Dad tired of tracking down top-selling toys only to discover they’re sold out…

Here’s an inspired solution:

3 FAVORITE CONFIDENCE-BUILDING GIFTS TO POSITIVELY INFLUENCE KIDS… FOR A LIFETIME!

…along with few BOLD Nuggets to eliminate the guess-work & make life easier for YOU: 

! 1.  THEIR OWN FULL-LENGTH MIRROR

The greatest gift we give ourselves, when it comes to happiness and success, leading and living the life we want? Self-Confidence. 

With ever-decreasing privacy, and ever-increasing parading of kids through social media as magical mini-me’s living up to our mega vision of what success and happiness could look like in their amazing life… (oh, the pressure!) Take a step back, and let the real gift in this gift be whatever reflects in THEIR view.

The simple gift of a Full-Length Mirror gives kids the gift of quietly discovering, play-acting, pretending, creating, wondering,  dreaming, dancing, making faces, smiling, crying, learning to love themselves just as they are… getting comfortable in their own skin now… to build their own confidence for whatever comes later… and eventually these little dreams turn to bigger questions: how will I ask her to prom, what will my wedding dress look like… 

BOLD Nugget:  Hang the full length mirror on the back of their bedroom door. So they can close out the world, eliminate distractions (yes, even you ;) and get into their own little dreamland, where they can learn to create their own happiness, believe in their own greatness, build their own self-confidence, love who they see reflecting back… and they just might have a greater chance to become adults who are comfortable in their own skin. (I could say much more, but you get it, and I didn’t intend this to become a lesson in self-leadership… only in gift giving ;).

Quiet time for you. Dream time for them. 

!! 2.  THEIR OWN VOICE RECORDER

As adults we know the importance of trusting our own voice, developing our own point of view, the confidence to speak up in our work and life: Voice Confidence.

And yet so often we’re learning this in action, in front of others, which is when fear and impostor syndrome threaten to stifle our best efforts as we struggle in self-doubt, self-sabotage, silencing our own voice, in some cases, before we’ve even had a chance to develop our own voice.

What if kids built their confident voice naturally, individually, getting use to that not-at-first-familiar tone, adjusting for whatever emphasis they want, becoming their own ME in their own special way, thru play?

BOLD Nugget:  The Voice Recorder needs to be one they can operate on their own. So no, the one on your smartphone isn’t what this is about. While I’m not writing to promote any brands, when our kids were growing up the Fischer Price recorder was exactly the gift that inspired this idea – way back then – some of the best strategies are exactly that: timeless!

Get ready to smile as you start hearing singing and crazy-fun voices and new characters coming to life in your own home… *Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen!* or *Everyone in their seats, quiet please, shhhh, it’s time for class…*

!!! 3.  FAVORITE SHOES THEY CAN MOVE IN

As adults we know the best way to get unstuck when we’re struggling is to Do Something: Get Moving! And when a more introspective response is called for – those times you need to stop, get quiet and reflect – well, at some point you do need to get moving again:  Confidence In Action!

I believe in giving in to brand-passion when it’s justified (and hopefully on sale!) If the athletic shoes they really want, they ones that will inspire them to get outside and get moving, playing, trying out new sports at least long enough to experience being part of an action-focused team… investing in their favorite athletic shoes can be money well spent.

Teach kids early on the importance of wearing clothes they can move in… starting with shoes they can move fast in.

BOLD Nugget:  This might be the time to pull out the stops… buying whatever Favorite Shoes They Can Move In – shoes they LOVE – that they’ll move in, run in, play hard in. Oh and let them get dirty. Great minds and active bodies are not built by staying out of muddy puddles, off wet grass, or walking on dry sidewalks.

Ah, memories! Without embarrassing our two now-grown kids… they’ve each followed their own life dreams and work in careers they love: one a sales pro & business owner, one a passionate teacher. Did mirrors, voice recorders, and athletic shoes they loved play a role in any of that? I have no doubt that in some way, they absolutely did!

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© 1993-2014  Ann Ulrich, THE BOLD! FACTOR® Catalyst, Strategist, Leader, Keynote Speaker & Mentor: “Navigating Success With Confidence! Self-Empowerment For Emerging Leaders & Motivated Professionals.” Subscribe to receive blog posts at:  AnnUlrich.com

 

What If You Really Are Amazing…

… just the way you are.

Aaaaand what about when you’re NOT?

photo-27David and I just spent a few days *Up North in God’s Country* Ely MN, where his company has a brilliant team, great community and beautiful office.

I went along for the fresh perspective a change of scenery brings in researching, thinking about, and writing my book.

(With morning temperatures of -25 and -35 degrees… Whoa! That air was pure Caffeine!)

I knew we would have a great time. What I didn’t expect in working on my book was this:

1.  I called BS on myself where I was NOT amazing.

2.  I tossed massive content where my voice has changed and am no longer about *that*.

3.  I thought about YOU – and all the Noise – and all the Should’s – and all the NOT GOOD ENOUGH’s – all the DODODO BEBEBE MOREMOREMORE – and those times when we own our greatness (BRAVO!) and yet what about those times we may need a fresh jolt, a wake-up call… yes, self-included. (see #1 above)

I came away from all that with this thought for you:

WHAT IF YOU REALLY ARE AMAZING… JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

WHAT IF YOU CLAIMED IT AS YOURS.

AND OWNED IT.

AND WHAT IF YOU ALSO CLAIMED & OWNED THE TIMES YOU ARE WELL, LESS THAN AMAZING…

This is where the gut-check reality comes in. BEING AMAZING INCLUDES TIMES WE ARE NOT ALL THAT AMAZING…

THOSE are the times that present the opportunities head-on: to grow, change, disrupt, re-invent… to be what you know you crave.

Reality check: Nothing shifts or changes or happens with any inspired thought until you apply courageous action.

So go ahead. Jolt your BOLD.  Bring your Amazing … to one situation, conversation, opportunity, presentation, challenge, relationship, work or life. Today

IMG_1621Believe It. 

Own It.

Lead & Live It. 

Deny Substitutions!

OK, it’s Monday. Just not feeling it?

Relax… there’s someone in your life who’d cherish your word of encouragement, your nod of *keep going!* or simply your smile.

Find one way to champion THEIR Amazing today. 

See what happens.

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© 1993-2013 Ann Ulrich, THE BOLD! FACTOR®  AnnUlrich.com

Photo:  Apparently lots of hot chocolate with marshmellow drinkers at the Ely Lodge!