Monthly Archives: August 2013

What To Do When Fear Of Failure Risks Your Next Success

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photo-73It’s not that you can’t. (You can!)

It’s not that you’re not willing. (You are!)

It’s not that you don’t want to. (You do!)

It’s not that you don’t know what to do or who to ask for help. (You know!)

It’s not that you’re lost. (You’re here!)

It’s not any of that…

So what is it?

What’s stopping you from taking that one next step?

What’s stopping you from moving forward to create your next success?

What’s stopping you from achieving that one dream that still keeps you awake in giddy excitement at even the thought of it? 

That one thing you would do… if only you could… if only you were willing… if only you really wanted to… if only you knew what to do… if only you could find your way there…

OK, just breathe for a minute and trust me on this one.

I feel your angst. I know your pain. I hold my breath at the thought of wanting to get there so bad you feel like you will explode – or implode – if you don’t.

I know the feeling when all you can produce are tears.

I’ve been where you are.

This morning I was there. 

And then I remembered the one thing I forgot to do. 

Trust me enough to hear me out… I’ve got your back on this one.

Instead of fighting forward, it’s time to step back.

To the beginning.

And before you can step back you need to

STOP.

STOP being afraid.

STOP being so certain that you will fail. Or that you’ll fail again.

STOP being so certain that you don’t already have everything you need to get there.

STOP being so certain about everything you are so certain about.

Where from here? Ready? Here it is.

You simply missed the very first step.

Start here:

SELECT YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS.

That’s it. THE KEY TO THE END IS HOW YOU BEGIN.

Name your Success. Claim it. Own it.

Get Going. Keep Going. Even if baby steps are all you can move forward on right now. Know, trust and believe YOU will succeed… and that it won’t be perfect… and that it will be tough and it will be exhilarating and just plain FUN to be on your way there.

Keep Going even when others insist you will fail.

You’re not doing this to please them anyway, are you?

Keep Going even when YOU insist you will fail.

Not everyone is going to buy in to what you’re doing… because what you’re doing is not going to be for everyone. It’s for the people you’re creating it for. And that’s enough.

And if you think for a moment that you don’t already have everything you need to succeed, scroll back and read the first 5 lines again.

So there you go. Watch you soar…

Send a postcard from the stratosphere of your renewed Confidence in you!

You had it in you all along!

You simply forgot to start at the beginning.

The place to start your next Success is right where you are:

Do One BOLD Thing.

SELECT YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS.

OWN YOUR SUCCESS WITH CONFIDENCE.

It’s Up To YOU!

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© 1993-2017  Ann Ulrich Inc.   AnnUlrich.com

PHOTO:  Last Sunday at our cabin, I had no idea my phone camera would capture the stunning essence of the moment: sparkling water and rippling sky in effervescent shades of blue. And in that moment I realized how grateful I am to choose to live my life without dreading blues on Sundays. Ah, the gifts we gift ourselves.

Owning Your Success Amidst The Ultimate Success Stifling, Confidence Crushing, Fear Fueling, Influence Immobilizing Impact Of Impostor Syndrome

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photo-46Years ago, when I first learned of Impostor Syndrome, I knew I too had (gulp!) experienced the lockjaw impact of its unrelenting grip.

Sound familiar?

Yes, Impostor Syndrome is real.

And yes, you are imminently capable of the Success you imagine for yourself …and yes, you deserve to own the SUCCESS YOU HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED!

Herein lies your challenge and your opportunity:

Owning It. With Confidence.

Owning Your Success… With Confidence! 

I am writing this post to introduce you to what has become one of my favorites among many great business-and-life-influencing books I’ve read: *THE SECRET THOUGHTS OF SUCCESSFUL WOMEN: Why Capable People Suffer From The Impostor Syndrome And How To Thrive In Spite Of It.* by Valerie Young, Ed.D.

First things first: Impostor Syndrome is NOT a Women-only derailer. 

It’s an equal opportunity success crusher for Men and Women – a potentially devastating confidence destroyer – knowing no bounds related to stage of work or life. 

In fact, I’m realizing now the concepts and realities of Impostor Syndrome may in fact be a subliminal driver behind everything I’ve created in my own business since 1993, including THE BOLD! FACTOR® CONFIDENCE and in work I’ll continue to create in this now-and-next stage of my business – inspiring, encouraging, championing and guiding inspired people like you to Own Your Success… With Confidence! The heart and soul of The BOLD! Factor all along.

BOLD Truth: You can create phenomenal success when you own your success.

These qualifiers (expressions you may be unknowingly crediting your hard-earned success to!) drive my passion for helping people claim their confidence and own their success… 

Valerie Young points out in her book the fascinating way Impostor Syndrome reveals: “in denying the existence of evidence of success in your own life… the problem is your compulsion to explain your success away with qualifiers:

photo-34*It was only because they like me… I was in the right place at the right time… It was luck… I don’t deserve this… Someone made a terrible mistake… I had a lot of connections… If I can do this, anyone can… It is only a matter of time before I am found out… I am a fraud… A fake… Phew, I fooled them again!*”

In her book, Young (who refers to herself as a recovering impostor and invites you to Join The Club!) notes the co-discoverers of Impostor Syndrome, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, identified four coping and protecting mechanisms: diligence and hard work, holding back, charm, and procrastination. In her work, Valerie has observed three more: maintaining a low or ever-changing profile, never finishing, and self-sabotage.

OUCH.

Any of those ring true for you? A few sure do for me. My work is and will continue to be better for this discovery. I hope the same for you, too.

Last night I picked up the phone and called author, now friend, Valerie Young.

It was a wonderful call, as she referred to it: “meeting a kindred spirit!” Valerie had some good advice for me on how to tackle writing my book, and what worked for her. We agreed it’s the hardest work either of us have done. We talked about where we’re at and our visions of what’s next.

A few more expressions – this time from accomplished people tossing their success to the wind – with powerful feelings of impostor-induced self-doubt. Sound familiar?

Who would think Meryl Streep would ever get cold feet at the beginning of every project, telling a reporter: “Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”

Or Mike Myers expecting the no-talent police: “At any time I still expect that the no-talent police will come and arrest me.”

Yes, even our beloved Maya Angelou: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh-Oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'”

If you know someone who might benefit from knowing about Valerie Young’s book, I hope you will share this post with them. It’s the reason I paused my own book writing this morning, to spread the word – with, for, and through you – on how you can create massive Success & Happiness when you learn to release the grip of Impostor Syndrome… by owning your success with confidence.

Your Success is NOT about Luck. YOU earned it!

Thanks for stopping by and for sharing any Aha’s with us in the comments below… or not… as you wish. This is one uber-personal subject, that’s for sure. Till we meet again:

IMG_1621Do One BOLD Thing.

Own Your Success… With Confidence.

IT’S UP TO YOU!

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© 1993-2017 Ann Ulrich   AnnUlrich.com

Photos:  MASK: David and I found this glass mask during the fun week of our daughter Natalie’s and Dan’s wedding in Playa Del Carmen. And once we pick up a fabulous leather mask like one we found in Italy, we’ll have started a new collection. Masks – as art – can be fascinating!  RAZZLE DAZZLE FORTUNE COOKIE: A favorite blingy gift I’m inspired by everyday, sharing it with you here as a reminder that your Success is not about Luck. Own Your Success With Confidence.™ YOU earned it!