It didn’t strike me until the drive back home.
It took being turned down for a client project I was referred into which, as many direct referrals can be, this was indeed a perfect fit.
A potentially perfect fit. Or so it seemed.
At first glance anyway.
That day I observed, listened and learned much about two simple words:
Need and Want.
The client I would be working with, as Trusted Advisor championing, advising and guiding her in quickly ramping up new success, was just promoted into a freshly-minted executive role. The project required focusing our work together in a few key areas:
Professionalism, self-leadership, executive presence and confidence.
Right up my alley.
At her executive salary, in her executive role, and in this successful fast-paced firm, the plan to have her contributing at a high level was imminent, clear and achievable. On many counts, she was simply a Rockstar.
There was one obvious thing missing: her own motivation to change.
That can be a project deal breaker for me. Altho I didn’t get the chance to decide that because she instead chose the route of continued perpetual assessment. (This would bring her to nearly one dozen with no new action taken – other than completing the next assessment!). With no action taken on the findings, as a result, nothing changed.
Which is why I was brought in… Next!
It can happen when someone else sees change you need, stands ready to invest in whatever it takes to achieve change you need… when what really matters is that YOU want to change for YOU, YOUR career, YOUR life…
Not for change sake and not as change for others. That’s a tough road.
Next time YOU want to achieve change in your work or life. REAL change. Ask yourself a few questions:
Do you NEED this change? this new impact, result, outcome? (and why?)
Do you WANT this change? this new impact, result, outcome? (and why?)
Or Do You CRAVE this change. (and why?!)
Need It? and you’ll soon find the air has left your balloon… the motivation needed to change requires more than Need. (and if someone else has chosen this change as needed for you? Good luck with that.)
Want It? and now you’ve invested some firepower, motivation, or at least enough passion to shift beyond Need to Want…
CRAVE IT?! with the right plan and support system in place, you are setting yourself up for SUCCESS! REAL passion and REAL motivation and REAL ownership and REAL commitment.
Think about it the next time you wonder why the workouts didn’t last, the project didn’t get finished, the popular book never got read, or the passion in general fizzled or derailed. I’m thinking about this, too!
As a result of that almost-new-client experience, I better understand now why I drift from certain goals and yet I spot-on nail a few others!
Maybe you needed it or thought you wanted it… because if you truly CRAVED the outcome or result… you’d still be on your way or looking back, smiling at moving forward on – and achieving – any goal you actually CRAVED.
Let your head take you to whatever goal is next… but it’s your PASSION that will light your fire and keep it flaming bright… through every obstacle, distraction, and excuse that threatens to derail you.
And YES there will be obstacles, distractions and excuses to derail you!
Next time you’re addressing a potential change… Try this:
! Ask yourself: Is THIS change is worth your BEST BOLD EFFORT. What’s motivating you? Why?
! Next: Run a quick Need. Want. CRAVE. test on your personal BOLDometer to scale up and validate your Why.
! And then: Run with it or Walk away! and either way…
That’s Confidence. That’s Self-Leadership. That’s Success!
© 1993-2013 Ann Ulrich THE BOLD! FACTOR® AnnUlrich.com
Photos: We light this tray of candles, lots of candles actually, as our moveable fireplace in our condo. Fireworks are a favorite annual event – shot over the 3rd Avenue downtown Mpls bridge – right in front of our deck.
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post Goddess Ann – you always bring us the best advice!
We all need a BOLDameter to determine what level of response is required or inspired.
Thank You, DAYMAKER Ande!
Oh wait – with your BringBackDesire.com – that makes you NIGHTmaker – of course!
YES to BOLDometers. Absolutely. If we can all make the *work of life* not to mention the work of work(!) more fun… we simply MUST.
BIG HUG from Mpls to Boston… see you on Twitter my friend!
I am overwhelmed with your generosity and kindness! Thank you for sharing the LOVE of my website, BringBackDesire.com – so grateful for your shout out!!
Loving and lasting relationship require physical as well as spiritual and emotional connection. And the “side-effects” of sensual pleasure are plentiful! All those endorphins being released lowers blood pressure, decreases pain, increases happiness… woo hoo!
“Deep sexual satisfaction is the foundation for enduring and meaningful intimate relationships.” ~Betony Vernon
Thank you for sharing your inspirational gifts with the world… wishing you a weekend filled with love, joy and laughter!
Your devoted fan,